Festive Fun

We attended our 2nd Stennis Kids Holiday Party today. Last years was our first time attending anything related to husbands new command. And, It was CRAA-ZY!!

Especially, after I rushed home from a 5 hour work shift. Luckily, my friend had my girls ready to go.

The girls skipped naptime and were already a dramatic mess. Enter Santa photo....errr, I mean what was I thinking!?? I just wanted to take advantage of the 'short' line. wrong idea. Whatever, it happens. We got a photo an continued to the rest of the activities. I did notice Santa with a short line an hour or so later and so nicely asked {okay, I begged} for anthe chance at a 'happy {smiling} picture'. Perfect, except for Serena not happy. Ah we'll, 2/3 smiling girls works for me. The girls had fun, we got a few photos and an awesome flip book to send out man.

Now, it's time for bed. Mama is running EARLY before the 7:30-3:30 shift.

Here's the picture fun.

get it together

*warning: explicit language ahead*

oh my fucking heart!!

Somedays, I can't take it...some days, I stay off of it, until...I get a notification.
Sersiouly, it's not that damn important but sometimes it is.
Most times, it's just damn annoying.

I think y'all know what I'm talking about. And, I'm sure some of y'all can agree.
Don't be pissed, if you feel this is about you. It's about it all.
We're going into Month #3 of this forever long deployment, forever!
That's an understatement.
Do we really have to DWELL on the exact return date or possible date?!?!
I mean, I'm all for expressing how you feel. We all miss them. Really.
The thing about it is, they are out there doing their motherFN job.
That's what they signed up for. Obviosuly, not for a back to back deployment.
It happens. Unfortunately.
There's no need to blame this or that on it.
If anything, be DAMN PROUD that your sailor is doing it.
Your sailor is doing their job for their country, whatever it is.
I have a husband and a brother on deployment. It sucks.
I moved away in 2005. I've only been home to visit.
I was happy to know my little brother would be close to us but he's not.
He's on his 3rd deployment since joining, almost 4 years ago. Fun!
I'm sure he is tired of it but that's his job, right?


You still have to live YOUR life??
What makes you happy?? Posting/Talking about your other half ALL THE TIME?!
I've talked to my husband daily, there's been a some busy days though.
Sure, I miss him, I miss him a lot. I miss his help, his presence.
I still have my life to live. I keep myself busy. I have 3 girls to care for.
I have 3 girls to distract, because they miss him too. A LOT.
I'm out-numbered as a parent. I'm overwhelmed, almost daily.
I drown in exhaustion at the end of the day.
I hold shit down on this side of our marriage.
I'm pretty damn successful as a mother.
I get praised for it. I get annoyed with it.
I am emotional. I am ROSANNA!
I don't have to tell you, daily, how much I miss him.
Or share all the info that comes my way about his whereabouts or possible whereabouts.
I know the importance and I respect it.
I have been living with this lifestyle for damn near 8 years.
Sure, it's not easy. Sure, it's not always fun.
I know the limits.

So, if your reading this. Make the best of this time apart. Do something more.
Get out there, out the house. Get offline, get moving.
Come clean my house. joking.
I dont know, just don't spend all your time "waisting time online" and waiting on their return.
Make memories, look forward to things for yourself.

Now, laugh at this. Mama got her venting out. Cheese.

Staying Positive; righttt.

That's right, we got another month down y'all!! And, it sure did FLYYYY by!!

Maybe, it's because I stopped bitchin obsessing about it and just went about my business. You know, my day to day as a Mama to 3, working out, and all that other stuff. SURE, I had several days that bummed me out, made me sad, broke down crying. Yep, it's completely normal. And, I totally indulged in lots of sugary goodies!! Oh, it was BAD but I loved it!! Afterall, October is bad and Halloween candy is just about everywhere. That's besides the point. We chatted often with that man of ours. They hit 2 ports, back to back. What where they again? hmmm....Malaysia, and...Thailand.

I welcomed myself from the Whiney Military Wives Club to the Elite Military Wives Club?
What's that you ask?? Hold up...

I "tried" to stop whining about it all. Mostly, to myself. I mean come on, I've got 3 girls wanting every single ounce of energy from me, every single time. It's gets OVERWHELMING!! And, sure people often say, you know what you signed up for. BULLSH8T!!! As a matter of fact, I did not not know every.single.detail involved with being a 'military wife'. I was completely oblivious to it all. I had just turned 20 years old the week before I met that guy, who stole my heart. I'm sure he didn't even know, what the 'married in the military' lifestyle was about. Sure, he heard stories, we both kind of did. But to be a husband and wife was just a lot. FAST-FORWARD, 9 years and 3 kids later, oh and ADD IN a back to back deployment. Not just any ordinary deployment. REMEMBER, we moved to WASHINGTON, after being separate for 4 1/2 months, he was in SD for school while we were in TX with families. We didn't get settled in as a family, he left a month later. SURE, this happens in the military but this isn't about that. It's about my family, let me bitch, vent.There was still boxes left unpacked, actually a whole garage of them. At this particular moment, I can't remember how things went. I know I kept busy with the house, girls, new state, new everything. I know, I got through it, he was gone for 4 1/2 months before and then here he was back on out to sea, on a carrier, his first time on one. He had been attached to destroyers in the past. Sooo...HELLO, CRAZINESS!!

A lot happened in those 4 1/2 months. I found myself, I found Rosanna, the one BEFORE kids and marriage  the one who had so many ambitions in life. It's true what they say, as a mother you can lose yourself, and I did. It's silly to say but proud at the same time, losing weight helped me find that. I felt better about myself, more confident, more energy, all that positive. SO, that kept me ridiculously distracted from 'whining' about deployment. Don't get me wrong, I whined, I cried, I bitched at him via emails and fb chats. 

Here we are, ALMOST a year later, back to a deployment lifestyle. We actually hit the 2 month mark of this forever long deployment. There isn't a SET homecoming date, not even a month. And, I think that's the most frustrating part of it all. And, yes, I'm still whiney, I'm still emotional  I'm still a mess sometimes. NOT ALL THE TIME! Sometimes, getting online is the easiest way to be social but it's almost annoying. Sometimes. Unlike the last time we were on sea duty, friends we in REAL LIFE, social networking wasn't as big as it is now. Now, it's like everyone and their mama is one some form of it. While, it has it's benefits, it also has it's downfalls. The constant drama you read, the constant bitching, the constant....it's daily. I've separated myself from the 'negatives" and even though I see it STILL from time to time, I've either IGNORED or tried to give some POSITIVE insight. That's how I try to keep it together; STAYING POSITIVE!! And, I'll admit it, it can be challenging when sometimes, I feel negative about things. 

Enter the Elite Military Wives Club: Spouses that fully support their spouse, recognize their privileges, show respect, embrace their [new] duty station, explore their new surroundings  become involved, are grateful for the adventures they make/are give, STAYING POSITIVE. That's who I strive to be. I don't want to waste time, counting down for the end of deployment, pausing life because he is gone. He is busting his ass working, he is making us proud, he is doing what he does. Just like I am, I am still being a mama to 3 little monsters  still working out, still living life. I'm making things happen, I'm not staying being closed doors miserable. I'm NOT representing myself as a miserable 'i hate deployment/navy/military' wife. I am supporting him from our home, as are our girls. We are PROUD. Regardless, if it was an unexpected deployment, it's not stopping life. You take life my the balls, stop bitching about this or that happening, especially online. Uhmm, I need to remind myself of this, somedays.  I always see the SAME ones, whine & whine & whine!! How about get off the computer/laptop/cell phone and DO SOMETHING MORE!! Pick yourself up (and kids) and explore the area, even if it's window shopping, running, gym time, taking a stroll, going to the park. DO SOMETHING MORE!! Make yourself worthy, than just being a 'military wife', be yourself. I sometimes feel, like the 'stereo-type' we have as military wives is TRUE. And, it's SAD. It's even more sad, that I know a lot of those kind of wives. However, I know MORE wives, who actually do more. Who actually get out there. And, those are the positives. 

 There are a lot of things/moments to be thankful for in life. And, lately I've seen people jump on the 30 days/November wagon. Yes, it's good to reflect on being thankful but being thankful should happen DAILY. It's bittersweet to see it only happen in November. I'm thankful for everything I have around me, healthy girls, family, good friends, growing patience...list can go on. 

Wordless Wednesday!

Wordless Wednesday

Say What? One Month Gone!!

We got through the FIRST month y'all!! 

GIRLS: It wasn't horrible (yeah right, it was a f*^&^*% MESS), there were lots of tantrums, from each of us, along the way. They fought me constantly, broke me into little pieces. I cried, and got over it. Sorta. I felt powerless some days but had to keep on keepin' on. It's that shitty part of NOT having your other half to help relieve you from all the drama. I mean, SERIOUSLY, some days I don't know how the hell I got through it all. They broke down, I broke down for an entire week. It was just emotional but it's DONE. 

MARRIAGE: I'm thankful that we have been able to "chat/communicate" every single day since he left. One of the perks to being married to an IT. I 'tried' to keep my bitchin' to a limit, i REALLY did. I knew he was having a tough time too. He wasn't home to help  enjoy his girls/family. And, A LOT happened with family, that made it harder. It's been an emotional time, and I'm sure he kept busy, just like I have to keep distracted. He started to workout too, YAY!! I'm EXCITED, and totally support him from a far!! We also, celebrated 8 YEARS OF MARRIAGE!! Oh, and his 30th Birthday. September is a BIG DEAL and it's the second year we didn't get to celebrate em' together. That's alright, 2013 will be BIGGER!! 

FITNESS: I lost 6.4lbs!! WhOoOooHoOoOOo!! No excuses folks, if you want to slim down, you gotta to put work into it!! Walk, Jog, Run, Lift, Run after 3 kids....all that good stuff, BE ACTIVE!!

Oh, and watching what you eat can help in the weight loss. I'm NO role model in that area though, I had my fair shares of fast food fixes. Yea, I did!! I'm aiming to reach the rest of my goal before heading home for Winter Break! Aghh!!  I'm on WEEK 5 of Les Mills Pump and see some slimming. I was SO happy to have started on the day they left!! I also started bootcamps back up, come if you haven't!! And, I started Moms Run This Town Morning Meetups, it's a fabulous group of ladies! Yaaaaayyy!!! 

PROJECTS: Ooohhh, I crossed A LOT off my LIST!! From organizing to creating to clearing out. It was BUSAAAYYYYY!! I refer to them as DEPLOYMENT DISTRACTIONS and the biggest one happened this past weekend; WE HAVE A GARAGE!! A functional garage, Mama's home gym, I've escaped a few times since then. There's still some work to do, like clearing out a few boxes of toys (mostly stuffed animals). Agh!! I REALLY need to buckle down on my other BIG projects, like sanding and painting!!! 

SCHOOL: Leanna started on Wednesday September 5 and loves being able to walk to/from school. And, Ailea cried every.single.day which only reminded me to search for a preschool. She started on Thursday Sept. 20 at a Lutheran Church School. She goes on Tuesdays and Thursdays Morning, She LOVES it!! It's been BUSY on those morning with an earlier wake up, since she starts at 8:10 and Leanna is walking to be at the gate by 9:00! I've enjoyed my one-on-one time with my baby girl, Serena!! Today, we took Bonita for a walk, it's going to be a regular thing for us, as long as the weather is nice, not rainy. Wet Dog, Gross!! 

I went to the local campus to take their "placement" test for math/reading. Boo!! I need to spend the next couple of week, studying/reviewing, in order to re-test. Hopefully, I get some higher scores!! This is the sucky part, all I need is these final credits to receive my AA!! So close, SO close!!  

OTHER RANDOMS; Social Chair Committee for the FRG, I started getting busy with brainstorming ideas for upcoming events, recently the Fall Festival. We've got a good group of ladies eager to volunteer and a fabulous few behind the scenes with planning. I'M EXCITED!!! 

All these little events are going to make the deployment fly by!!

Wordless Wednesday!

Ehm...Pardon my french.

Emotion Overload.

Ever just cry and cry and cry....and then cry some more?

Well, that's what Week 3 was all about. I can admit, I cried at some point each day, more than once on some of those days. It was a ROUGH week, mentally and physically. And, for several reasons.

I try not to let those BIG things take affect on my attitude, I really do, I throw myself into several things to keep my mind busy but sometimes it's just not enough. It's not enough to cover those pains. I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an in-law to my other family. and A LOT has been going on in those different roles. A LOT. I realized that I am, overwhelmed, emotionally. And, what can I do?? 

Being a Mom is tough sh*t, it's not easy. I can plan ahead all I want, some days it just doesn't go like that. I don't have a husband who relieves me at any point of the day. And, this past week the girls DEMANDED more of me that wasn't there. It was hard, I was upset, angry, annoyed, I cried. Because it wasn't fair to them, the strength had worn off SEVERAL times, and it wasn't their fault. They were used to having both parents to tug at. I had him alongside, when he was home for work, even if it was to "try" to cook dinner, un-interrupted. You know, no fighting between the girls, whining from the toddler who wants to be held, no DRAMA! 

We weren't with him to celebrate his 30th Birthday, 2nd year in a row, THE 2nd year in a row. It sucked! It really, really, really sucked. Who doesn't want to hug and kiss the person they love and wish them a happy birthday?!?! The girls were sad when they realized it, he did call and we did sing to him over the phone. It was special in it's own way. But, it just wasn't enough, at least to me. I cried that night, I was really sad about it. 

I cried every. single. time I thought of her son, because he is the same age as Ailea. And, her daughter, a teenager, aware of what was going on. She was fighting a terrible disease and although it took her from us. It made me realize that life is meaningful even through the hard times. I mean, I already know that. I'm thankful to know that I'm apart of a very STRONG, COURAGEOUS family, both sides. We've both dealt with several family losses in the past few years. And, it's really depressing when I think of it. And, that's just it, I don't think of it. I let myself get so busy with the daily life and hobbies, that I suppress it. I just don't deal with it. Like, when my dad got sick and I was pregnant and helpless. I hated myself, I hated every ounce of ME. And, realizing that he passed away just a month and a day before Serena's birth, made me SUPPRESS it like no other. With all that happened recently, it rose up and bit me in the ass. How stupid was I to not cry and cry and cry and cry...because he passed away. I mean, I think about it, get sad, I miss him, and quickly distract myself. Well, it didn't happen this past week, like now, my eyes are just flowing the tears. 

And, during the very emotional week, I just thought the world was SO unfair to us all. Unfair in the most harshest ways. And, I hated it a lot, I hated myself, for being so hard on myself and letting so much negativity take over me. Given the situation, it's fair. I'm allowed to hurt and be angry at something I have no control over. What I hated was that I could not, the harder I tried, I just couldn't control by emotions. I didn't want to cry because I automatically thought I was weak and I can't be weak, I have to be STRONG, Well, f8ck that. I was weak, and I let everything pour out. And, I felt better after some crying while other times, I was just ready to tackle on whatever distraction was available. 

I wasn't happy with myself during many instances this past week, I was just angry. I took it out on him over online conversations, he let me vent, and that's all I wanted to do. I didn't want him to comfort me from a far. I just wanted to vent, to bitch, to cry and I didn't want him to feel sorry for me. Because, in actuality, I was hurting for him too. He is a strong man, a father and I need to remind myself that we got a good man. And, to not take these little things for granted. I have the girls here day to day and they driving me INSANE most of those days. He would trade places with me, to have that insanity back. He fully understands how crazy it gets with these 3 kids, 3 girls that can be so sweet and then total disasters. I know they miss him, they tell me often. And, we are only almost a month into this deployment. It's just now easy. And, I know I'm not the only one breaking down. So, I thrive to be a better person, mother, wife....for that reason.  And, I take it day by day. Now, I know weeks like this may be ahead, I won't be prepared and I;ll just let the tears flow, like a cleansing of emotions,.....but not really. Everyone needs a good cry.

"I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull." ~Oprah Winfrey

Wordless Wednesday

Homemade Pizzas & Movie Night!! 

Time Management; Get it Done!

Wheww!!

It's been 2 crazy weeks, maintaining a household with 3 kids is no joke!! Extremely exhausting some days. Who else is going to cook, clean, bathe, er play....with them. Leanna started school last week, so...that gives us a routine. Sort of. School starts so dang late, 9:10. We've been walking to the gate, like an easy 5-7 minutes, depending how fast their little legs move. It's only been a few days since school starting but we're kind back into the same routine as last school year.


It's an early start to get things going for the day, for myself, I love to workout. And, I'm back on the weight loss journey, since I plumped up while he was home. With that being said, my booty is up as early as 6 am. The day he left for deployment, I started Les Mills Pump, 13 weeks of lifting awesomeness. Depending on the day, the workout can be between 20-40 minutes. I'm on Week 3. Then, it's COFFEE TIME, black. I've sorta kinda, horribly kicked sugar this month. I'll admit I've had a rough weekend and gave in with some treats and even a little raw sugar in this morning 1st cup of coffee. 

7AM, Time to get the girls going, some days 7:30 and that requires A LOT of patience on my end, A LOT!! Breakfast, with Serena hounding me to nurse her first. Listening to Ailea whine (randomly) and Leanna tell me she is TIRED and not getting ready. She's had a crazy summer of staying up late, or waking up and NOT going back to sleep, and instead stealing phones/kindle to watch cartoons on Netflix. Yeah, it's bad. I actually deleted the APP on my phone and have been hiding my Kindle at higher areas. It drove me CRAZY, really CRAZY!
Once, we get Leanna off to school. All is good. NOT!

Ailea is a mess, Serena is clingy. Like I mentioned earlier, it's only been a few days since school started. I'm still trying to get Ailea into a preschool....Wah!! 

Last week I hosted the Local Moms Run This Town Meetup, glad a friend came and looks like a few more might show up to this weeks Meetup. We also attended a meeting for Moms & More, pretty awesome group. It's a membership group, meetup twice a month, and there's childcare. So, the focus is on MOMS, with crafts, discussions, fundraisers. They were originally a MOPS group but went on their own way a few years ago. I really like what I learned about them and am looking forward to joining!!! Bootcamp picks up this week, tomorrow actually, and I'm REALLY excited about it. I love the routine, PLANKS anyone!?! Shoulders and some HIIT action!
So, that's how the morning goesssssss. Back home for lunch, then Naptime!!

Naptimes, are MY TIME, I clean, workout, clean, do laundry, get online, clean, do dishes, clean...roughly a good 2 1/2 hours, get things ready for dinner. 

Leanna's off school at 3:25 and she brings home the chaos. The girls forget they listen to Mama when she is home. The evening goes QUICK and so does the MESS!!
They terrorize some part of the house while I'm cooking dinner unless they are plastered in front of the TV, then they just destroy my clean living room!! Dinner, baths, bed!! Simple as that. There's some reading days. And, then it's back to cleaning, I give myself 30 minutes to get. it. done. Dishwasher unloaded, and then loaded back up, dining room area cleaning, table, floors, and I absolutely hate it all!! ALL OF IT!! I hate having to do it every. single. day. There's NO BREAK!! No one to take turns with, I think that's got the be the hardest part for me. I had a man, a husband who would actually HELP in raising his kids and helping around the house. Neither of us enjoyed the cleaning part, who does? Really?!!? But, we would take turns by either bathing girls/putting them to bed or tackling the dinner aftermath. Which in our house with our little messy (non-so-much) eaters is horrible. So, I'm hauling ass to get it done. Then, I can get to laundry, my DVR list, and/or a workout. Tonight, it's jumping on the elliptical!!

It's all about TIME MANAGEMENT!! I'll be honest it's not always smooth. Like, tonight, as I'm typing those 2 kids aren't going to bed right away. They are hyped off the candy they ate while I was busy. "While I was busy".....that's why I try to get things done before they wake up, during naptime, when they are put to bed. So, I can give them my FULL attention and with 3 against 1...holy crap, that's not always possible. Things that have made it easier, calendars, visual aids to remind me what the day has planned. I finally completed the School Command Center {above}, with all of Leanna's school Events and the activities we have planned for Ailea. It'll be updated her school schedule once she starts, when she starts. And, then there's mine, next to my desk to match my fitness calendar, and other events that involve ME. 

If I'm not doing my usual cleaning or working out, I'm getting busy on little projects, I refer to them as deployment distractions. This past week I got busy in the garage, still a work in progress. I made space for the elliptical, and took the Spin Bike (whew) downstairs from the bedroom, my little space away from the house madness. I'm planning to add a little play area for the girls with a few fabulous DIY projects. I also cleared/organized the front patio, made it more spacious for the girls to play with and they love it!! And, I made a few more coasters with family photos, not to use for drinks but for display. I really love them. Ohhh, I also got to RUN two days in a ROW!! No knee pain. I was bummed when the doc told me on Thursday that I could possibly have a meniscus tear, not cool. I was reffered to Sport Medicine and they'll check it out , possible rehab. Ugh!! Nonetheless, I got some running in and was super happy, 2 virtual 5ks to add to my race pride!!Y'all keep bussaaayyyy!!

Worldless Wednesday

Here's to another school year; First Grader!!

Week One Down!

"As long as we love him and miss him, Daddy will always be home."

We killed that week, literaalllyyyy. It flew by and I kept us pretty bussayyyy!! I mean, I could pass out right now from exhaustion. What's the reason you stay busy? I'll admit, it keeps me distracted from missing my man. Keeps me a little sane, especially when I start my day with a workout. I try to remain as positive as I can, it's not always easy. So, getting a routine going, is my way. And, it works pretty well with the girls, most days. They sure do have their shares of tantrums, and craziness. I go from; I got this to go find your daddy!! Hah!  I catch a breather when they are napping or asleep for the day. 
There's never a dull moment with these Luna's!

*Deployment Distractions; Special Projects, Organizing, Crafts. I've got a list full of them.

Highlights of the week;

Monday; Started Les Mills Pump, a 13 week Beachbody Program that includes a bar and weights, Mama Lifts. I actually went 10 weeks during the last deployment and loved the results.
We meet up with friends at Waterfront Park in the morning
We made our First visit to Kitsap Play w/Friends.  

[Waterfront Fun]

[Play Kitsap]

Tuesday; Bootcamp Meetup at the Lake. The girls played w/friends. And, I continued to play catch up w/Laaundryyy!! It's never-ending with 3 girls!

[Smiling before Bootcamp Begins]

Wednesday; Laundryyyy Morning! Afternoon Park Playdate. Evening Run at the Track with the girls, Mama got 2 Miles in. It was crazy challenging but it sure did wear the girls out. I want to make it a regular evening routine or every few days but it's just a little too crazyyyy!! I'll stick to my morning routine, once Leanna gets back into her school schedule.

[I didn't expect it to be busayyyy]

[They did alright, those crazy 3]

Thursday; Errands. Ice Cream Social, Leanna met her teacher at her new school. I also FINALLY bought the latest Trey Songz Album, it's been on play every time we've left the house now. I can't get enough of him and loved listening it to/from Tacoma. We went to a  Birthday Party. Deployment Distraction; Made Successful Homemade Laundry Detergent. Amazing Stuff

[Ice Cream Social at School]

[Smiling after a Fun Time]

Homemade Laundry Soap

Click on link for the how-to

Smells Amazing!!

Friday; Bootcamp Meetup at Jackson Park. Hello Kitty Event at NEX. Subway. Deployment Distraction; Cleared Crazy Kitchen Counter!! Girls Night In; Battleship & Vegan Burgers.

[Ready for another Bootcamp!!]

[Big Deal, it's cleared!!]

[Superbaby!]

[Leanna's Banana Creation]

the added sprinkles of salt was not tasty.

Saturday;  Decided to weigh-in I was 2.9 lbs down since Monday's weigh-in!! Felt great!!
Spur of the Moment Hair Cut. Last Minute Birthday Food Items.

[Mama got her hair did. Way too much product but it was fun]

Sunday; Leanna's 6th Birthday Party! This was crazy hectic. And, I'm glad I had a REST DAY from my workouts. I had to make sure I had everything packed to take to the park off base. And, with the girls going every which way, I felt overwhelmed but I got it done. Had a blast at the park. Ate entirely too much pizza! 

[Smiling Girls!]

[Little Pony Party Balloons!]

[Birthday Party Fun]

SO, what does week 2 look like for you?

Have a Fabulous Week Y'all!!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Wednesday Y'all!!

Hello Again, Deployment!

We sure picked a good one, really, we did!!

The carrier is back out to sea for a back2back deployment. Sure, he only did 4 1/2 months during their last deployment. And, returned home in March. Here we are,.....roughly 4-5 months later, but that also included going underway for 2 weeks in April and then 5 weeks in June/July. A surprise, to say the least. Not really. Watch the news. It's kind of a big deal.


So, I have this husband...he's been in 11 years now...he's an amazing father and a damn good sailor.....I got no complaints. Well, he did leave CLEAN laundry behind for me to put away...

Yeahhh, I was upset that he was leaving.
Yeahhh, I was annoyed almost daily.
Yeahhh, I struggled to stay strong.
Yeahhh, I bitched.
Yeahhh, I had more proud moments because he is a Sailor.
Yeahhh, I realized, several times, that's what happens in the Navy.
Yeahhh, I was secretly excited because I was ready to take my waistline back.
Yeahhh, I was happ when we ate junk food too.
Yeahhh, I still wanted him to be home with his family.
Yeahhh, I cried and felt overwhelmed, still am/do.
Yeahhh, life goes on.

With all that, I still tried to remain positive, I've never really gone through a FULL deployment with SO many kids. It was kind of overwhelming the last deployment; 3 kids, new state, new home, new EVERYTHING!! I survived, I adjusted, I fell in love with everything there was about this place, Washington! I still love it, almost 10 months later. There is SO much to keep us entertained with, SO much. Indoors/Outdoors. I have 3 very active girls, 3 girls who enjoy the outdoors, who love to socialize. It's always been that way, it's important.

We've met some GREAT people/kids, friends.
I'm back on the fitness journey with different challenges and routines, even got the bootcamp back up. Who doesn't love a group of people wanting the same thing, plus it gets you out of the house. FUN!
I've made lists for craft projects; lots to choose from. Let the creativeness begin.
I've got a list of make-overs, organization projects, I will NEVER be bored.

I'm still going to hate to wash dishes, everyday.
I'm still going to feel overwhelmed.
I'm still gonna be annoyed when the holidays roll around.
I'm still going to be sad, that's he's not here with us.
I'm still going to keep on keepin' on.

It's not the end of the world, although, at some instances it sure does feel like it. 
I'm definitely looking forward to homecoming, the girls will all be SO different but one this is certain, they will embrace their daddy with open arms, as if he wasn't gone for so long. 
They love that man, and I am beyond words to how much that means to me.
Because, I love him just as much. We are just so lucky to have him, even if he isn't physically here. We are lucky.

Every day he's gone is just one day closer to him coming home

Tears and Cheers!

Where to start.....

I kind of just want to go to sleep for days but the Mama/Wife dailies keep me going. So, does this little running routine, I've had the joy of taking on for the last 2 weeks!! It's almost time to say "see ya later" to him. I try not to think about it, I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay longer than the last 4 weeks. 

It's Wednesday and he is back to work after his 2 weeks of leave. I've RAN to get away from the "pain" of seeing him leave and the "stress" of being the only-parent again. I know I got this, It's just the first couple of weeks are the hardest. I'm sure 8 months will "fly" by. It'll be "normal" again, you know getting back into a routine with just us girls. 

Leanna is starting FIRST GRADE in 2 weeks, and she might be going to a new school, the one she is zoned to and is only a walk instead of a car/bus ride away. Still waiting on a call back.
She will be 6 years old in a few days, I just can't believe my baby is a little grown girl. She amazes us, talking so mature. Her little sassyness is cute and sometimes overwhelming but that's Leanna. You know that already.

Ailea might be starting preschool in 4 weeks, twice a week. Or, I'll be doing drop-in care again at least 2-3x a week to get her into a "school" atmosphere, she loves going to "school" She is in those Terrible Three's and I'm currently reading "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers", I need a NEW approach for her. She is So different than Leanna was at that age. Maybe, it's a middle child thing, we give her attention but I always doubt myself and wonder how much is enough. She is so brilliant, so smiley, so lively. The book has amazing insight on it and I'm happy so far. 

Serena, is becoming so talkative and knows who "daddy" is. She started saying "daddy" on her own, well, I'm sure it's because she hears the girls call him that. She loves eating too. She is STILL nursing at almost 19 months. Can you believe that?!?! I know, I can't either. It's pretty amazing!!

As for me, I have another blog, where I post all things-fitness related and that's been nice. I've gained roughly 13 lbs since February, some Birth control the rest crazy-eating. So, once again, I will focus on losing those lbs, toning and getting fit. I've also got a few challenges along the way, changing up eating habits, going "clean" and picking up the BOOTCAMP classes. I also joined a local running group, Moms Run This Town. I've got a few races on the calendar, along with virtual races. And, we can't forget school, might-possibly-maybe-going to a local campus. That's going to be something crazy. 

Bittersweet!

Sighss.....it's been a while!

I've been having a rough time, trying to put something in words. 

I've been missing my dad terribly, lately. I've tried to not let it affect family time. All I want to do is be alone, bury my head into a pillow and sleep to not feel the pain. And, that is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE!! I think he notices when I'm falling into that, and quickly tries to distract me and have me hang out with them. Even, though I'm SCREAMING in the inside, I push myself to be with them. I hate it, I hate that it wants to take over, I hate that I can't control it, it HURTS!! 

Fortunately, it's not everyday. It's just some days, some moments, and I feel the pain, handle it, ignore it, move on. What hurts the most if being away from my family. Sometimes, I wish I could just go and visit with them, but that'd make it worse. They are hurting more, they lived with him for the last 6-7years, while I was away living life with my new family. 

I just wish I could still call him, and say "Hi, papi". 

Onto today, it's MONDAY, and he starts Leave for 2 Weeks, tomorrow!! And, tomorrow the ship has their Deployment Prep Event, Go figure!! I've got a few plans to keep us busy!

First, cleaning/clearing the GARAGE!! I want to make it more useful, a little gym, play area!

Finish re-arranging living room and upstairs randoms.

A few family outtings; Lake, Birthday Meal Trip for Leanna....my girl will be 6 years old!

I'm not mentally ready for this upcoming deployment, but it is what it is. Physically, I am. I want my body back. It's kind of hard when he is around to workout or eat "healthy". 

Such is life...until the next post.