BooHoo; Baby Blues!!

It feels like I have the world on my side these days; Beautiful Healthy Newborn, 2 Healthy Active Daughters (19mths & 4yrs old), Happy Husband, Busy Household.....but yet I feel so empty!!

I've had a ROUGH 15mths; A LOT of emotional issues went on. I lost my father on Jan 3rd after a ROUGH recovery process. I didn't even get to say good-bye or be there for my family while he struggled (he was in Mexico visiting family, had a stroke, brain surgery, recovering in a poor environment for roughly 7mths). Feels like my family (brothers/sisters) disconnected during this "recovery" period. I found out I was pregnant just a few days before receiving the call that he had a stroke and might not make it. The whole pregnancy had a lot of sadness for me, knowing of my dad's condition. The fact that my mom told him I was expecting, days before the stroke. It ust breaks my heart looking at my tiny precious baby girl. I feel like he's with her...i know sounds strange but really, I do. I know it's hard to deal with a loss of a family member and its much more harder b/c I'm not with my family. I live in CA and they are in TX. I don't know somedays, I can consume myself with house chores, crafts, girls, etc and other days I let the pain consume me. I feel so helpless in my own skin. I recentl started to evaluate myself; What makes me the happiest. Being around my little family does but even when I'm with them; smigling, giggling, relaxing and outing to walmart, whatever it may be.....i feel so empty. This is probably normal when grieving, right?! Then add post-baby emotions...WOW!! Yesterday, I started my fitness routine which distracts me A LOT but not enough. Well, it's only DAY 2. I'm juest eager to get doctors clearance for full workouts like jogging, spinning and other intense activities. I feel like that will keep me distracted the most. Yet again, how does one deal...it's tough. I'm 26yrs old and I've experience my first family loss, (OH, also lost my grandmother (my Mom's Mother) in June). Like, I said it's been rough, I feel emotionall stretched yet hold strong for family.....

How Many Kids Do Yall Plan on Having??

That's the question my doctor asked while he was trying to determine sex this morning. At that point, I knew we were possibly looking at Baby Girl #3. LOL!! He said it looks like ANOTHER Girl but will be able to determine at my next appointment. We plan on 4 kids total but he insists on 5. Husband was pretty happy at the possibility of another girl. He said he'll be coaching them in softball and volleyball. Isn't he the cutest!??!!!! Whew.....another girl. I am all about girly things...
Baby's heart rate was in the 160s and is growing perfectly!! :D

16wks, 5days

Belly Kicks!!

Well. Well. Well....I've been feeling Baby flutters since I was 11/12 weeks along. When I hit 14weeks, I began feeling more than just flutters...there was more activity in the uterus!! Now, I can PROUDLY say that TODAY at 17wks, 2days along...Baby is Kicking away!! I'm sitting on the couch, laptop across my lap hanging out while he plays a ps3 game. I was chatting on FB. And I just typed it as I felt it, Kick, Kick, Kick! Baby is CRAZY kicking!! Could be the elbow jabbing away but most likely kicks!! I'm soo happy!! I can't wait for Baby to grow more, so I can share the kicking sensation with my girls and daddy. For now, it's only Mama who can feel the excitement :D I have a check-up later this week, Wednesday. And I am soo excited, I'm sure he will do an ultrasound and I hope we can take a peek at Baby!! If not, I'll be A-Okay!!

It's all about the Business, Baby!!!

oh you fancy, huh?

So, .I've been on the job hunt for quite a few months now, applying EVERYWHERE!! When my friend, said they were doing a hiring they at McDonald's I of course laughed it off.. Yeah, I applied online along with a few other fast food chains. I had even had an interview with another Fast Food Chain and never got a call back after the 1st interview. I felt like I was never going to get a job!! I had also interviewed late May with the base CDC and a few weeks later for a receptionist position. Sighs....so, getting a job at McDonald's was silly at first. I interviewed on the spot with several other applicants. The manager said they'd be making call 3 days later. I never got a call on the 3rd day and was rather disappointed. Monday (Aug 23) came along and I received a call shortly after lunch for a 2nd interview.. Ahh, yay!!! Went to the interview which I believed went super well!! The manager was pleased with my eagerness to work, my dependable attitude and past work experience. When I didn't get a call the following evening or morning like he said I would if I got job.,I was a little upset. But I did receive a call in the early evening saying I got the job and scheduling Orientation. YAY!! I was a little embarrassed, I'm not going to lie. I mean, here I am 26 yrs old, with 2 children another on the way (which by the way I didn't mention), I should be working in fast food, should I?!?! Well, a job is a job, right!?! No, I was actually impressed with their work ethics, organization, their everything. I was REALLY impressed and actually excited about working for McDonald's!! I mean, I LOVE McDONALD's...I crave it!! So, I am really excited that they have given me the opportunity as an employee of theirs!! I have video training (about 3hours) tomorrow morning at 7am. We ordered uniform and shoes which should be available sometime during the week and then they begin scheduling 3 hours blocks for training in position. It's going to be challenging and I'm REALLY looking forward to it!!

Your Four Year Old . Child Development Tracker . Child Development . PBS Parents | PBS

WOW, I honestly believe Leanna has been 4yrs old this entire year as a 3yr old!! She seriously has surpassed all of these stages. And I really noticed it...probably..6 months ago..it really amazes me that I have been apart of this developmental process. I am soo PROUD of my beautiful daughter and all the milestones she reaches and surpasses!!

Your Four Year Old . Child Development Tracker . Child Development . PBS Parents PBS

I came across this questionnaire from a previous post (December 29, 2008) I did during my last pregnancy with Ailea!!


About The Father:


•Name?: Manuel
•Age?: 27 (28 in Sept)
•Are you still together?: Upcoming 6 year anniversary!! (9/23)

About Your Pregnancy:


•Is this your first pregnancy?:No, 3nd
•When did you find out you were pregnant?: Friday June11, 2010
•Was it planned?: NO!
•What was your first reaction?: Seriously!??! Ohhhh sh*t!
•Who was with you when you found out?: I called husband into bathroom and told him to look on the counter.
•Who was the first person you told?: I told my the following day.
•How did your parents react?: Surprised
•How far along are you? 15wks, 5days
•What was your first symptom?: Nausea
•What is your due date?:February 11, 2011
•Do you know the sex of the baby?: Not yet
•If so, what is it?:
•Have you picked out names?: We've only agreed in middle name
•If so, what are they?: Angel (My dad's middle name)
•How much weight have you gained?: about 5lbs
•Do you have stretch marks?:oh yes, from the other 2.
•Have you felt the baby move? Yes, flutters at 12 weeks and lately more activeness
•Have you heard the heartbeat?: Yes!

About the birth:


•Home or hospital birth?:Hospital
•Natural or medicated birth?:I'm hoping for another natural birth (epidural please depending on the progress)
•Who will be in the delivery room with you?: Husband
•Will you breastfeed?: I was fortunate with my 2nd and hope to be again!
•Do you think you'll need a c-section? I sure hope NOT!
•Will you cry when you hold the baby for the first time?: YES!!
•What's the first thing you might say to him/her? After my AWE moment...Hi, welcome to our world!!
•Would you let someone videotape the birth?:If there was an extra person, sure. Hah!!
•Are you excited about the birth, or scared?: I'm ready to meet him/her!

Crazy Dinner, Happy Baby!

So, tonight's dinner was simple. A can of beeforoni & Peas. I ate a small bowl, like a CUP size of peas with beeforoni. Like 30minutes later, I was STILL STARVING even after drinking lots of water. SO, I made a Cup of Noodles (YUM). DD was begging but I wouldnt share!. Instead I got about 1 1/2 cups of grapes and she ate most of them while I grabbed a few. I was STILL hungry (UGH!). I made a Crunchy Peanut Butter Sandwich with Sliced Bananas and drizzled honey. THAT DID THE TRICK!! I ate that about 45minutes ago....NOW BABY IS MOVING LIKE CRAZY!!!

I'm sitting in bed, on the laptop and it's the most amazing feeling!! I've been feeling baby flutters since about 12weeks. TONIGHT, I feel LOTS of MOVEMENT!! My heart feels like it's skipping beats....Awwwww

Oh, Papi...

[Heartache]
Midweek, I completed by busy evening with a CRYING session. MAJOR tears, heartache all the works. It's been 2mths since Dad got in a terrible health situation while visiting family in Mexico. He was just hours from heading out to the bus for the airport. When he had a stroke and ended up unconscious. That lead to him being in a coma, which caused stress on a vein, or something in his brain. That ultimately lead to major head surgery to stop it from bursting. Being in Mexico, it ridiculous, the health care is horrible. Wanting money up front, regardless, he received all the health care he needed to keep everything going. My mom went to Mexico almost 3weeks after this to be with him and to see if she could bring him back to the US. His condition was still critical while recovering from surgery. After 9 days in Mexico, she was unable to bring him back. My mom is a MESS, she is a stay at home mother and has never had a job. My dad was the provider. She had JUST lost her mother about 2 weeks before all this happened with my Dad. She's making it as much as possible. I cant even imagine what she is going through. I'm all the way over here and I feel pretty damn worthless. I find myself struggling with everything, that's why I'm so exhausted. I don't know what to say or feel anymore towards my mom. I don't know how to talk to my family some days. Some days, I just let it consume me...other days I have it in the back of my head. But my dad is always on my mind. I wish he was home. My mom said he is making some progress, he is basically recovering from the stroke and surgery. So, having to do rehab and who knows how much he is capable. They said he is able to be flown out to the US. And the charitable organization that my aunt found, is charging $10,000 for the flight from Mexico hospital to a Houston hospital. It's just soo stressful knowing that we don't have those funds available and then his family saying that he isn't leaving..DRAMA!! I just can't handle it some days!!


Ahhhhh

[14 weeks, 2nd trimester]

[Belly Shot at 12wks,6days]

"Looks Like I Feel "BLOATED" and YEAH, I'm still squeezing into my skinny jeans!!"

What an amazing journey it's been thus far!! It's incredible, I was about 6 weeks pregnant when I first took the home pregnancy test. And here I am at 14 weeks!! I must admit, it's been going by pretty fast!! I still say it aloud, I'm pregnant. here I am pregnant, UNEXPECTEDLY pregnant. I mean, we planned to conceive both girls...LOL!! I keep busy daily, especially with schoolwork. These 8week online sessions have been keeping me VERY busy!! Along with the house duties, both girls, craft projects and whatever else comes my way! Lately, I've been having [RANDOM] Nauseous Moments. It's annoying & disgusting. Usually, it's the feeling of maybe needing to snack on something. But the thought makes me even more distracted. For the past 2 days if I feel this way I've popped in a peppermint and it seems to help!! I remember doing this throughout the first trimester while pregnant with Ailea. I am SO PROUD & THANKFUL that I have not resorted to prescribed medication for any morning sickness or nausea!! I would want to fill my body with any meds. LOL!!

Today, we enrolled Leanna for Pee Wee Sports Camp at the City Community Center. It's a week long for an hour each day. They'll be introducing her to various sports, We are both EXCITED!! I honestly can't wait to watch her play sports. That's going to be a crazy time. By that time we will have a baby and a toddler to help support Big Sister!! [HOW CUTE] The following week, Leanna starts PRE-K!! Another exciting event!! Hopefully, she gets into the morning class. This summer's pre-k was 6weeks in the Afternoon class at the further location and that wasn't FUN at all!! We are looking foward to Back to School Shopping & her Birthday Celebration Weekend!! She'll be 4yrs old soon. She is SO TALKITIVE!! It's flown soo quickly!! Ahhhh...we love her to pieces!!

Ailea's a SILLY mess. She has been fighting a virus all week!! MY poor baby, coughing and runny nosed.. Ewww, gross!! But it's my job to wipes away her snotty nose and comfort her. I LOVE treating her as though she was still my itty bitty newborn. She'll always be my baby, I [NEVER] wanted her to grow a day old! She is an ACTIVE, exploring, smiley, clingy (b/c of new baby on the way), talkative ONE YEAR OLD!! She practically runs now!! It's been about TWO months since she started walking! She uses a spoon to scoop her food, she totally caught on to that quick. And even if she doesn't scoop some foods, she will hold it and try again. But continue to hold it while she finishes the rest of the food. It's cute how she gives me signals that's she's hungry or wants me to help find her sippy cup. She even knows how to throw her diaper in the trash!! I know FUNNY. One day a few weeks ago, I was kidding with her.saying how smelly she was and how her diaper was YUCKY..I said you come help me throw it in trash. So, I said here and walked her over with me to the trash can. It's happened a few times here and there since then. The other day, she grabbed it after I sat there and I saw her walk around the corner. I followed behind her and she was already at the trash babbling...It was the cutest thing!! I LOVE WATCHING THEM GROW EACH & EVERYDAY!!

Baby, Baby, Baby..

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
-- Agatha Christie

[Friday August 6th @ 8:45AM]
yay!! We took big sisters to appointment with us, when they called me back they took us straight to ultrasound room. We got to see baby immediately!! Doctor confirmed that I was 13weeks along, still due February 11th and baby was healthy, active and right on track. FANTASTIC!! Baby's heart rate was at 152, good rate.


We each got our own ultrasound picture of Baby Angel, saying I love Mommy, Daddy, Leanna and Ailea. Perfect way to start the day :D


After we got back home, I posted up pictures of the girls in their big sister tees, I had made the night before ( I like the 2nd set more than the 1st) That's how we announced it to the World Wide Web, well Facebook. LOL!!

You are ________ ________ LUNA

Names picked out yet?

So far, we only have the middle name "ANGEL". My dad has been in a really difficult health situation, and I mentioned it to husband regardless if dad makes it or not, what did he think of that being baby's middle name. He didn't hesitate and yes of course!!

Plus, husbands initial MAL, so Angel goes in perfectly for a boy. We've liked MAX while I was pregnant with baby #2 if it was a boy. Still no first name...

First baby is Leanna Elisa (middle name is grandma's name). We wanted to keep with the "anna" or "lea" for baby #2 especially after finding out it was a girl.

Ailea Nicky (middle name is grandma's middle name). We had a little theme. We haven't given it much though for babygirl first names tho. I kind of want to go with end of the alphabet letters..Like R, S, T....i dont know..LOL!

How did you find out you were pregnant?


I had been working out crazy hard!! And when I stopped seeing results, I started flipping out. I even started Xantrex thinking it'll boost me to loose my last 15lbs. For 3wks, I didnt lose much maybe 2lbs. I was furious and felt a little crazy!! So, while having a CRAZY episode and realizing I haven't had a period since February (although, I was nursing but she weened herself around 10mths & it was the only period since having her) and just went to use the bathroom And pulled out a test I had and peed right away on it (I had taken a test 3wks before to ensure I wasn't, before I started Xantrex) Anyways, After a minute..it was positve. I was in disbelief...after I told husband to go look on the bathroom counter and after being shocked for an HOUR..we went to grab dinner and another 2pk test. Took the test while husband stood watching me pee (he couldnt believe it) and as I finished up, not even a minute later...the test turned positive..LOL! Both test were in the early evening. I took the other test a day later, the morning of my birthday. And even the next morning at the doctors office, I was still SHOCKED. LOL!! This was JUNE 12 weekend. I had my first appointment with OB, JULY 9th (2days after my babygirl turned ONE) and he did an ultrasound to determine how far along I was.. 9weeks along. CRAZY!!

[July 9th, Baby at 9weeks]


It was a complete surprise, since we've never just gotten pregnant. We tried for 2/3mths to conceive with both daughters, I never did pay attention to ovulation dates. LOL!

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in

This week’s questions are:

1.What is something you wished you’d learned to do earlier in life?
Hmm...that nothing is perfect!! I constantly beat myself up trying to be perfect at this or that. So, I learned that there is no such thing as being perfect. But I can always strive to do the best I can at whatever I'm doing.

2.What is your biggest pet peeve with the military?
I suppose all the horror stories you hear about the most random things And most times they are TRUE!

3.What tourist attraction near you have you never seen?
Death Valley, although I'd probably complain of the heat, it would be something to see.

4.What are you avoiding doing right now?
Dishes & picking up the mess of floor. But once, I do get up it'll take less than 15minutes. LOL!

5.Wine, beer or liquor?
Depends on my mood. I love mixed drinks, even the simpliest but I can always kick back with a salted lime corona! Mmm..

oh, baby!

I'm almost in the 2nd trimester and the last few weeks have been exhausting!! Leanna has been out of preschool and Ailea has been super clingy They have keeping me on my toes all over the house!! I'm constantly picking up after them or getting after them. LOL! They love to just hang out in the playroom. Leanna has a WILD imagination and could sit and play by herself for hours. Ailea likes to explore everything, from toys to books. Even the toilet (Ahhh..gross) but she is just too darn cute. She smiles now showing off all her teeth!! Leanna has been such a girly girly lately insisting on wearing dresses like Ailea, having me do her hair in different styles. And jsut being so priss about it all. It's freaking adorable, i LOVE it!! i keep fighting fatigue to maintain a clean household and attend my evening gym classes. Those classes are keeping me in fit rountine :D I just turned on the Wii earlier to weigh in after a junk food filled weekend. LOL! But what surprised me was, that I turned it back on almost an hour later, to actually make use of it I spent 30minutes doing a variety of FUN activities and burned 155 calories. I had completely forgot it tracked calories. Now, I'm watching Leanna do her own activities. It's cute!!

Baby has been active lately, I've been feeling the flutters. This morning I woke up sleeping on my tummy it was uncomfortable but I felt the little one's pressure in uterus!


OOoooohhh, and my babe starts soft practice today!! I'm soo excited he is getting back into sports. It's a little tough being apart of a team out here since he doesn't directly work with other military folks. He is the only Active duty member in his office. I am soo proud of him and I know he loves SPORTS. We'll be at every practive and game to support him. We love him with all our heart!!!



"Just another moment of Amazement!!!"

Spinning. Cycling. It's the same thing!

It's 6:13 in the morning!! Been out of bed since 5:40... I've actually been trying to get back on schedule with EARLY morning workouts...for about a week and a half! It's been crazy with Ailea's new teething schedule::some mornings she up at 2/3 AMish...once I comfort her or make her a bottle, I'm DEAD tired! There's Been a few mornings that she stays up crying or refusing to go to sleep. bRuTaL!! Oh Well, I love my babeesh!!

Soooo...I'm Spinning it:;11:30min/gear 10/83cals..
jogged for 30 min/210cals
elliptical for 22min/205cals

see a patter!? Trying to reach 500 cals burned...in the morning!! "trying" as long as I make it that early otherwise I'll try with spin class & a jog right after!!

Ciao'

Friday Five

..stole this from esha :)
1. Is there something you've always wanted to try but just can't muster up the courage to actually do yet?

At this particular moment...Rock climbing!! not like outdoor climbing...I'm talking about the ones that are at those theme parks or events. The mobile ones. They actually have one at the gym here...or at least i think I saw it. Need to check that out :)


2. If you had $100 handed to you in cash without your significant other knowing about it, what would you spend it on?
Hmmm...buy more work out clothes!!! I'm in need...


3. What was your favorite piece of playground equipment as a child?
Uhmmm...swings. Defintely the swings.


4. Do you prefer a sweet or hearty breakfast?
Hearty!! Even when I'm dead tired...I still try to cook a yummy meal for my loves!!


5. Are you a Neat Freak or a Messy Bessy?
I can be both!! Depends on my mood...sad!! I can let the house go for hours sometimes days (picking up a little) or I can e a total bitch going after them...and that's no fun!!

Recognize, that I'm backkk...

It's been ridiculously crazy these last months!! I mmeannn CRaZy!!! Lah blah blah...
Well, here I am AWKE at 1AM! Another long day. I wish the gym was open becaus I feel like JOGGING!! Ohhh, another reason I'm up...teething 10mth old. Her top 4 teeth seem to be pushing through :/ not fun listening to the whines and painful cries!!! Off I go to comfort her :)

I THINK..i think...

I think...I have a few moments to myself. As a matter of fact, Ailea is in the same room with me however she is sitting in her swing babbling!! It's been a CRAZY DAY!

This week, I welcomed a school-ager, 7yr old girl, into my daycare home! Wow, that makes #4. Obviosuly Leanna and Ailea are #1 & #2. The lil dude, Jack-2yrs old, started Aug 26 (Leanna's birthday). So, at least I've had an oppurtunity to gradually accept my new role as an in home daycare provider. Trying to manage my Lil Lovebug's needs along with Jack's & Leanna's. Fortunately, Leanna has been in preschool and she's been learning LOTS!! I am sooo PROUD of her!! She comes home singing songs I had forgotten about, copying her name, her vocabulary is expanding with words like; well, probably, actually....it's INCREDIBLE!! Some days after getting her dressed and ready, I would rather just keep her home because I honestly miss her!! I miss her like crazy!! I never did get a chance to just fully enjoy Leanna & Ailea, just us together lounging around. I think I spent almost 3wks getting used to having both of them & managing a newborn, then Leanna started school. So, whenever Jack leaves before daddy gets home, I try to soak up every second of just us girls!!

So, the 7yr old started, she arrives about 6:30am..Meaning I'm up by at least 5:15, WAKING up, getting ready, nursing Ailea if she's up which is typical around this time, tidying up any loose ends. Emily arrives, she entertains herself, I attend to Ailea if she's still up, Wake up Leanna (which is NOT the easiest, she's a MAJOR GROUCH!)--sometimes daddy helps, get Leanna dressed, hair made and off to school she goes. Daddy has been taking her to school & picking her up on his way home for lunch. I picked her up twice and it was craziness since Jack refused to Leanna becuase there were WAY TOO many toys for him to play with.... Breakfast is started for Emily and then we wait for Jack's 8am arrival. He grabs a bite to eat or I pack it for the stroll to drop Emily off at school. Overall, it's like a 20minute walk to and from! ......to be continued!

Smiles & Giggles

10lbs 11oz [9.22.09]
<--[Tummy Time;;9.26]

She's almost 3 months old and I just can't believe how much she has grown. And HOW FAST it's all gone by!! I keep telling her to STOP, STOP GROWING!! I will nurse you every few hour, not sleep, cater to your every need on a daily basis AS LONG AS you stay this little...It's RIDICULOUSLY SAD..how fast they grew.. I'm in amazement with each NEW thing she does, it's the sweetest feeling to know that she recognizes you & that you make her SMILE&GIGGLE!! I love it, I love her, I lover both my girls, I love my husband. I just love moments like these!!

[Ailea's pulling her head foward;;9.27]

[FiRST customized Mommy-Made TUTU;;9.27]

Leanna loves, LOVES, loves to play with Ailea. Although sometimes she can be a bit too ROUGH..and of course Leanna has to throw a fit about me telling her to be gentle. Leanna is a WILD CHILD..obviously it's her age but some days are soOOOooooOOO EXHAUSTING dealing with her constant whining, rudeness & just flat out bad behavior. BUT I STILL LOVE HER CRAZY BUTT!! She has been in preschool for an ENTIRE MONTH..that's flown by as well...she goes 4days a week/half days and really does enjoy it!! I can't believe how much she has grown!!

~~I HAVE A 3YR OLD & ALMOST 3MTH OLD....WOW~~

[Girls Goofing around;;9.27.09]